I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or as I am maturing in my relationship with Jesus, or maybe a combination of both, but most days at some point, I am immobilised by the thought that one day I will stand face to face with my Maker and King and give an account for my life. The things I did, the things I neglected and everything in between. Standing before Him I can imagine that everything else will fade into oblivion. Every excuse I have ever made to justify my lack of faith and obedience, I am imagining will seem incredibly silly and insignificant.
"I was scared about what they might think Lord". Even now I'm cringing at the thought.
When we stand before the Creator of Heaven and Earth and finally have a proper revelation of His power and majesty, unhindered by our sinfulness, it's no wonder our response will be to fall on our faces prostrate before Him in awe of His grace, mercy and love. And this image that I have, seared in my mind of what it could be like one day, has become something that governs my life and the decisions that I make, because I don't want to stand before my Father with even one regret.
I recently heard it said of me, that I would do anything for the mic, that all I'm doing (i.e FirstLove, serving in church, loving people, hosting Bible studies, sacrificing time away from my family in order to pour into others) is trying to build my own empire and create a platform for myself. (Gee, and here I thought I was obeying scripture). In a moment I felt absolutely gutted, you know when it feels like you've had the wind knocked out of you? When the blood rushes from your head and you can almost hear your heartbeat? This "friend" who I had so openly and vulnerably shared my heart with, had so terribly misinterpreted me, my heart, my motive and chose to gossip and lie about me. Hours of talking about Jesus together, sharing our God words and dreams, and all this person could seem to do was to try and make me feel small.
(Herein lies another complex lesson- the tension of vulnerability and trust within a relationship! Gosh. You see as followers of Jesus, we need to be wise, but also remain genuine, authentic and tender hearted, regardless of how others may treat us. If you haven't already, take a moment to read "He Washed Judas' Feet" Our Saviour experienced this pain and betrayal firsthand!)
As Christians, we should all have the same primary focus, to expand the Kingdom of Jesus and spread His Gospel message. Each one of us should make it our main concern to obey our Saviour's last commission. This will look different for all of us. I personally love that God didn't use a cookie cutter when He made us, rather each of us has been created with different and unique strengths and passions, which surrendered to Him can be used by Him for His purpose.
With the same focus and mission, we should be cheering one another on. We should be celebrating when brothers and sisters take brave steps in faith, putting themselves out there, most likely shaking in their boots but knowing that their fear of God trumps their fear of man. As fellow labourers, we should be the loudest encourages of those who step out of the boat. I cannot imagine that the 11 disciples who stayed in the boat made fun of Peter for trusting and obeying Jesus. I can't really see any of them rolling their eyes at Peter, waiting to get back to shore and tell everyone back home that Peter had just tried to build an empire for himself! No, they would have probably been frustrated and disappointed in themselves that they hadn't exercised that same faith. They would have probably rushed to tell people about how powerful Jesus was, because that's right, it's actually all about Jesus.
And so if you are reading this and have lacked the courage because you have worried more about what others might think, you've pushed your dreams down so far and quieted His whispers. You've justified your disobedience because you know that His grace will inevitably cover you. Maybe you've had someone say hurtful things about what God has put on your heart to do and it's quite literally stopped you in your tracks and made you feel incapable and inadequate.
IT'S TIME TO KEEP GOING NOW. It's time to shake off lies and hurtful words. It's time to lean in to God's truth over your life and time to TRUST AGAIN. It's time to allow God to do whatever He wants to do in and through your life and not allow the opinions of others to short circuit His plan. Step out of that boat. Write that blog. Start that Bible study. Give that encouraging word. Open that business. Whatever it is that He has whispered to you... do it, because one day when you are face to face with Him and you hear those words "well done my faithful servant" you will be so glad that you didn't let the lies of the enemy rob you!
With love, Cailin x
[If you have any prayer needs, don't hesitate to reach out. We would be honoured to pray with you.]
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